For the number of years I have been on earth, I have noticed the trend of the female form. The way it looks, what’s in and what’s out. I was always fascinated with the bodies I saw, that looked nothing like mine. I would sit and wonder if bodies like mine and others that weren’t represented would soon be the “latest look”.
Even with the body positive movement, I realised that bodies like mine (and others that are still not shown in pop media) are shown in sprinkles in magazines and tv and very often airbrushed because, you know, people “hate” flaws.
I still get self-conscious about my body, and this is not only because of the media but in part, how my extended family viewed my body (I wrote all about it here). But there has come a point where I started to realise that if my body bothers those around me, then it is their problem and not mine. This is my body after all and the only person who should feel comfortable with it, is me.
I realised that as we were growing up, if we were all just taught to love what we see in the mirror, regardless of any changes we experience as we age, we could just be happier. We would know that who we see in magazines and on tv, are merely images of people who are being paid to look that way; are pressured to look that way and most of the time, don’t look that way.
I am committing myself to trying to feel confident, no matter what my body looks like. Hey, I’m not going to get it right all the time- it’s a process of unlearning unhealthy behaviour about achieving a body type that wasn’t mine to begin with. Confidence on a person is by far the sexiest and most intimidating characteristic. People want to feel that way; want to take you home, and sometimes don’t like that you are satisfied with how you look and couldn’t care about an outsider’s opinion. Again, that last bit is their problem and the insecurities that they have.
When you can get to a stage where you no longer care about what people think and care about how you look, and that you deserve respect in the body you currently have, then you have won an internal war that many people struggle with. We want to be noticed and to be complimented and have people say, “you look so good!” But, there also shouldn’t be a need to get validation from others, because you just need to validate the body you have and know it’s a good body, it’s a great body and no one quite has the same body.
And, there will always be people who thrive off of making you feel terrible about how you look. My current response? “I am so sorry you feel that way. I hope you feel better.” Remember, it’s not you, it’s them.