#IAmASurvivor- Angelica

#IAmASurvivor are stories from women of all walks of life, telling their stories of survival. Everybody is a survivor and all stories deserve to be told. These stories are all in their own words.

This is something I never thought I would write about myself.

But, here I am. Writing on the comfort of my bed reliving the past in the hopes that it will spread awareness to everyone, especially those who have been in a similar situation.

If you have been in a similar situation, please don’t let it define you.

You are beautiful.

You are not what happened to you.

It wasn’t your fault.

It will never be your fault.

I will never forget the feeling I felt. I don’t think I ever will. It didn’t just happen once. It happened a total of three times. It was the same person who did it. The same man. I was intoxicated and he took advantage of it. But, I was not at that stage where I don’t remember. I remember everything that happened leading up to it, during, and after he did it.

My mind went blank.

I stared into space and had no idea what to do.

He was staring at me as he was doing it.

I was in a state of shock.

I took his hand away, but he went for it again.

He followed me into my hotel room. I was so scared.

He went for it again.

Here’s my story…

I graduated from Bachelor of Commerce in June 2018. I enjoyed the summer as a free young woman who finished school. My family, friends, and boyfriend were proud of me. I was done school. I did it. I was ecstatic. I didn’t know I would be able to finish school because it was difficult, I struggled; staying up all night till 4am to finish assignments and studying, not being able to sleep, not being able to socialize as much as I would have liked to, squeezing in study times during work, the list goes on. If you’re a student or was a student, I’m sure you can relate.

I worked at a retail job while I was finishing school. When I graduated, I travelled for a bit, then started looking for a job that would help with my career. After spending hours and hours everyday handing in resumes to different companies and after many interviews later, I finally landed a job. It was an administrative job that I thought would be a great way for me to get my foot in the door for my career in the business field. I was ecstatic when I received the email from that company saying I landed the job. I loved it. I loved the office, my work, and the people. We were all like family.

Fast forward to 3 months later….

It all happened on December 15, 2018 at my work’s Christmas party that was held at a hotel. There was food, games, and alcohol. Yes, I drank. Yes, I got a bit drunk.

He was a friendly man. He got along with everyone. He was like a dad to me.